I'm a runner

I'm a runner. Pretty much everybody that knows me would say so and I would agree. The only issue is lately I just haven't been running much.

There's been a steady decrease since last September when I hurt myself on an attempted 69ish mile run and had to pull out after 41 miles. Technically I could have gone further, I just didn't see the point as it wouldn't have achieved anything as I definitely wasn't going to finish and would have greatly increased the chances of me doing serious damage to myself. My injury wasn't serious, I healed up pretty quickly but my motivation definitely took a hit and I didn't get out much over the next month. I then signed up to a virtual running challenge in December in a bit to find my running 'mojo'. A few solid weeks of running followed in November and with my general base fitness I managed to run 12 half marathons in 12 days. I was knackered but it went really well, I felt pretty good and was sure my running mojo had been found. Turns out I was wrong.

Over the last 8 weeks I've been for 4 runs and 2 of those were last weekend when I ran a couple of legs of a running event (Goggins 4 x 4 x 48) for a friend who had intended to run it but had to pull out after injuring herself the week before.

A runner who doesn't run

So now I have found myself as a runner who just isn't running very much at all. People who don't run probably don't see an issue and people who do will just tell me not to worry and that I will soon find my running mojo again. I agree with both but I also had a bit of a problem, I was mentally beating myself up about not running. It turns out I had made the mistake (without realising it) of tying the fact I run to my identity as a person. Jon the runner. And Jon the runner is only half the person if I'm not running. I'm past that now and I realise running (or any hobby/action/whatever) that I do isn't who I am, it's just something I do.

When I haven't been running I've had time to do other things. I've got bits done around the house that probably should have been done sooner. I've spent some time relaxing in other ways watching movies or reading books that I probably wouldn't have spent the time on as yet. I've started building (very basic) computer games again, something I hadn't done in probably over 15 years but something I used to really enjoy. Heck, I've even made this website.

So what's your point?

My point? I'm not sure I really have one. I like to ramble. Or stay pretty quiet and not say too much. I guess my point is something about trying not to define ourselves by some output in our life. When you're producing that output that's no big deal but if you're not, either through choice or circumstances beyond our control, you'll probably feel like shit. Better yet is probably not to try to define ourselves. I hadn't even realised I had done it, it was on some kind of subconscious level. But we're always changing and evolving so try your best to go with the flow a little more.

So if you're a runner* in search of lost mojo have a think about just what you're trying to find. Some of us do want/need to get back in to the swing of things asap and re-find that thing we loved and have lost. But for others a break might be what we need and can also be an opportunity to discover something new (or rediscover something old). Don't push yourself (unless you want to), try going with the flow for a little and see where it takes you.

*insert your own hobby/interest/job/output and mojo equivalent.